The whole concept of mental illness has been shrouded in conjecture and is, more or less, still treated as a taboo topic. As I’m sure all of you are aware, mental illness isn’t something that is specific to one race or creed. It is a disorder that affects a multitude of people coming from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. With that in mind, the Canadian Mental Health Association estimates that 10-20% of Canadian youth are affected by a mental illness or disorder while 20% of Canadians will personally experience a mental illness in their lifetime. These are absolutely staggering statistics! On top of that, the stigma surrounding this topic prevents individuals from seeking the help that they need which can prove to be detrimental in the long run. It is because of this reason that we need to get rid of this stigma and ensure that both youth and adults have access to proper treatment. If we don’t look out for others in their time of need, what makes us think that they will stand by us during our time of need? Life is a two-way street.

In the end we are all human which means that we are all susceptible to disease. Mental illness is just that – a disease. The scary thing about mental disorders is that they can appear out of nowhere. The likelihood of developing such disorders is strongly determined by family genetics. Besides genetic determinants, people may experience symptoms without any sort of family history. People who develop mental disorders early on in life tend to go through a much more difficult time compared to those who develop these disorders later on in life. Although there is no absolute cure for such illnesses, there are definitely modes of treatment available. There are also preventative measures in place to combat the onset of mental disorders, especially in individuals who develop such symptoms later on in their life. It all comes down to staying healthy, handling stress responsibly, getting good sleep and, all in all, maintaining good mental health. Serious mental conditions such as biploar depression and schizophrenia may require seeing a psychiatrist and obtaining a medical prescription. No matter how severe the condition, it is absolutely crucial for the patient to stay true to their prescribed treatment in order to decrease the possibility of a relapse.

At Naseeha, we provide callers with an anonymous, confidential and non-judgemental phone counselling environment. Naseeha counsellors are available Monday to Friday from 6 pm to 9 pm EST and can be reached at 1-866-NASEEHA. Our counsellors are always eager to help out and can offer professional advice when it comes to topics such as mental health. If you or someone you know suffer from a mental condition, never hesitate to seek out help or advice. The worst thing a person suffering from a mental illness can do is ignore their condition. Also, never forget to supplicate to the One who granted you life for shifa’a and good health. As reported in Sahih al-Bukhari, the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) would supplicate the following at the end of his salah:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ الْجُبْنِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أُرَدَّ إِلَى أَرْذَلِ الْعُمُرِ

“O Allah I seek refuge with you from cowardice and I seek refuge with you from being placed in a mentally deficient state!”

Mental illness is something which we cannot choose to ignore. Muslims need to take a more active role when it comes to dealing with such issues in both the Muslim community as well as in the community at large. Educate yourself, share the knowledge and come to terms with mental illness. It starts with you.

By: Omar Raza

Overcoming problems isn’t necessarily hard but there is no doubt that it requires a lot of will power and discipline. Sure, you won’t develop these traits overnight (I still haven’t!), but the least you can do is make an effort. Once we understand that the onus is on us to put forth an honest effort, only then can we hope to attain success. Make the correct intention, follow it up with action and then put your trust in Allah SWT.  Remember, as the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said, “tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah” [At-Tirmidhi]

Students face stress day in and day out. No matter if its finding your class on the first day of school or cramming for an exam. Anything related to school has stress written all over it. I don’t know about all of you but I usually deal with stress by eating. That’s right, comfort food. Let’s just say that this isn’t the best way to deal with stress, especially if you are trying to stay in shape. A much more effective means is exercise. Take a breather. Go for a walk, shoot some hoops, play soccer – take out some time from your busy schedule and force yourself to get some fresh air. Not only will your brain thank you for giving it a break but you will find that you are able to focus that much better on the task at hand.

Peer pressure. There are two types.

1. Positive peer pressure and
2. Negative peer pressure.

Most of us are probably accustomed to hearing about the latter due to the havoc it causes. The thing about peer pressure is that it’s always there. If you have a group of friends, you’ll have peer pressure, whether you like it or not. That’s not to say all peer pressure is bad though. The type of peer pressure a person faces is directly correlated to the type of company one keeps. The importance of good company can be seen in the following hadith:

The Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said, “A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.” [Bukhari, Muslim]

Pick the right crowd. The people who you hang out with will have the most impact on what type of person you become. Be around those who bring out the best in you.

No matter what problems you are facing at school, always remember that someone has “been there, done that”. If you ever need someone to hear you out or if you’re looking for advice, our counsellors at Naseeha are more than happy to talk to you. Counsellors are available Monday to Friday from 6pm to 9pm EST at 1-866-NASEEHA. Naseeha exercises a strict privacy policy and ensures that calls are completely confidential. Every person has the right to privacy and more importantly, a right to be heard. May Allah SWT enable us to overcome stressful situations and may He allow us to keep good company so that we may avoid negative peer pressure. Ameen. Keep on top of your studies, have fun and stay safe!

“He who has not endured the stress of study will not taste the joy of knowledge” ~ Abd al-Latif al-Baghdadi

By: Omar Raza

The story tells us that such help is available: a help line, calledNaseeha, or “advice” in Arabic has been in existence since 2005 and operates out of Mississauga. Ostensibly, like the Kids Help Phone line (est. 1989) the advice line provides advice and support, but specifically support to Muslim youth who are, according to the story experiencing“the pull between two worlds”. The now 27-year Muslim convert says the murder of Aqsa Parvez and other so-called “honour killings” are not Muslim issues, but cultural issues and that phone lines like Naseeha respond to the specific issues experienced by newcomer children and youth.

If you surf over to Kids Help Phone, you can see that among the FAQkids pose are questions related to discrimination, prejudice, diversity and inclusion. The G&M says that Tarek Fatah, a frequent critic of Fundamentalist Muslim practices in Canada, calls the advice line “anti-Western” and believes advice provided would be critical of Canadian ways.

In response, the co-founder of Naseeha defends the need for a separate advice line: ‘You have a Mercedes, you take it to a Mercedes mechanic’. Further: “We lead them to the facts in the Koran, and to what they want to do. We don’t decide on someone’s behalf”.

What do you think? Do immigrant/refugee children and youth need a separate advice help line?

Fauzia Muhammad, survivor of her brother’s knife attack, Hana, survivor of near suffocation by her father, and Alina, survivor of many beatings, provide invaluable perspective on what it is like to live with the knowledge that a family member is willing to kill you to protect his family’s reputation. Alina and Hana report threats to take them back to Pakistan to kill them since Canadian law doesn’t allow it. Hana, who lives at home through most of the narrative, is a fascinating case in point: the filmmakers tell her story as it unfolds, highlighting how her feelings toward her family change over the course of a year.

One of the many strengths of In the Name of the Family is that the filmmaker allows an Imam and both male and female members of the Islamic community to speak for themselves. By talking about domestic violence in Muslim communities, regardless of its sources or sanctions, the film will certainly succeed in raising the awareness of Muslim young people’s struggles in North America. Even more importantly, it will raise awareness of agencies such as Naseeha, a Muslim youth helpline, which are working to prevent future violence.

This film would be valuable for courses and collections across many disciplines, not just Middle Eastern, South Asian, or Islamic Studies. Courses on women’s studies, globalization, ethics, or social work might use In the Name of the Family to spark discussions of what is a father’s right, a child’s right, what constitutes transgression in various cultures and religions, and the best ways to help young people and their families.

The material is not explicit, but nevertheless may be disturbing to the youngest high school students. Teachers should consider whether hearing the 911 call from Amina and Sarah Said is appropriate for their classes.

Highly Recommended

Awards

• Best Canadian Feature, Hot Docs International Film Festival

The trial which gained an international following has captivated Canadians since the beginning. How is it that a family could kill their very own in the name of honor? What twisted and perverted mind would do such a thing? The Shafias held their innocence from the start and many doubted if this was in fact an honor based crime. The jury, however, had no doubts about it and delivered their verdict after mere 15 hours of deliberations.

The Judge’s final remarks to the guilty sums up the high emotions surrounding this trial:  ’It is difficult to conceive of a more despicable, more heinous, more honorless crime’. ‘The apparent reason behind these cold-blooded, shameful murders was that the four completely innocent victims offended your twisted concept of honor, a notion of honor that is founded upon the domination and control of women, a sick notion of honor that has absolutely no place in any civilized society.’

As the disturbing details from the trial emerged, it was evident that the Shafia family was highly dysfunctional with some serious domestic abuse issues. At the head of it was the short tempered, foul-mouthed father who ruled with an iron fist. His illegal, polygamous marriage meant having to constantly lie and portray his first wife, Rona Mohammad, as an aunt. Shafia was a rich businessman, usually away on trips, and immigrated to Canada in 2007 on the “immigrant investor” program. In his absence, his son Hamed took over his command.

The Shafia daughters were the Afghan Muslim father’s worst nightmare. As one columnist aptly described them, ‘Gorgeous Zainab’ was 19, ‘Sultry Sahar’ was 17 and ‘Rebellious Geeti’ was 13. Reveling in the beauty of their youthful bodies, the eldest daughters did not hesitate to show them off. The cellular pictures in their lingerie, in promiscuous poses and with their boyfriends are reflective of their boldness. Zainab and Sahar transformed themselves when they left for school every morning, hiking their skirts, removing the hijab, and changing into revealing tops. Even 13-year-old Geeti followed suit and was once sent home from school for wearing inappropriate clothing.

The psychological oppression at home was severe. The girls were under constant scrutiny for their behavior and conduct, with their freedoms being taken away by the day. The watchful brother eyed their secretive affairs and reported them. That their behavior was normative by Canadian standards made things more difficult. They appealed to social workers and teachers for help, even tried to run away from home to a foster house. All these incidents finally added up to their unfortunate murder.

I wouldn’t go as far as to say that honor killings are a problem in the Muslim community, but the familial situation I’ve described is not uncommon. The Shafia family practiced what would be termed cultural or cafeteria Islam. This is the Islam in which immigrant parents raise their children in a relatively secular household but then expect them, the girls especially, to behave as law abiding, pious Muslims. This pick-n-choose ‘Islam’ is epitomized by double standards for girls and boys; where boys are free to gallivant late at night and the girls can dare not be seen working on a school project with a boy.

Obsession with the sexual purity of women is also one of the cornerstones of this twisted version of ‘Islam’; this belief is actually rooted in patriarchal tribal customs and unfortunately has made way into Muslim societies. These families lay no emphasis on Islamic education or on the foundational pillars of faith such as prayer and fasting; all the emphasis goes into tertiary concerns such as wearing hijab, staying away from the opposite sex and my favorite – staying away from pork (not alcohol though). If these people only realized that an understanding of the fundamental tenets of Islam encourages one to automatically take up secondary aspects of the faith, dysfunctional families like the Shafia’s would not exist.

The Muslim community has much to learn from the Shafia murders. For one it highlights the struggles undergone by numerous young Muslim girls. The lure of a secular society mixed with a poor understanding and appreciation of Islam leads to a psycho-spiritual crises for most teenagers. At home, the parents don’t understand their apparent obsession with all things haram; at school their teachers and peers don’t get the ‘draconian’ rules imposed on them. Muslim counselors that can help address the challenges faced by youth are desperately needed; projects like the Naseeha Help Line need to be generously funded by the community. The Shafia girls did appeal to social workers, but these people unfortunately did not have an understanding of the complexity and seriousness of their situation.

As much as one might try to hide, the ‘Muslimness’ of this case has been apparent from the start. Whether it be the references to ‘Allah’, ‘Koran’ and ‘hijab’ during the proceedings or the analysis of Afghan culture by experts; Islam was certainly under the spotlight. After the killing of Aqsa Pervez, the Shafia murders have given people another reason to question the link between Islam and honor killings. People hesitantly approached me to ask about my ‘position’ on honor killings and to clarify the Islamic stance – it’s sad that we have to do these things.

Media coverage of the trial was generally fair in my estimation. By that, I mean there wasn’t a general deliberate attempt to pin the blame on the religion of the accused; if anything, it was patriarchal aspects of Afghan culture that took the hit mostly. Not all media outlets were generous though; Michael Coreninterviewed Islamophobe Robert Spencer who tried to assure viewers that Islam did in fact allow honor killings. Barbara Kay also wrote an article trying to establish a link between Muslims and the barbaric custom. Writers across the anti-Muslim blogosphere shed crocodile tears to mark this tragic event; the Shafia girls will become their poster children for years to come.

One of the positive outcomes of this media attention was the ‘Call to Eradicate Domestic Violence’ issued by CAIR-CAN and was endorsed by over a hundred Muslim organizations. This statement denounced domestic violence, honor killings in particular, and vowed to address the issue at mosques across the country. This resulted in Imams across the nation jointly tackling domestic violence in their sermons on December 9th 2011. What is more surprising is the widespread media coverage this received, with almost every major news source reporting it in Canada; the National Post went as far as publishing Imam Sikandar Hashmi’s sermon – an unnatural, but appreciated, gesture from the right-wing newspaper.

Much will be said about this saga in the days to come. Some will criticize multiculturalism, some will pin the blame on religion while others will say the ‘system’ failed them. For me, it is the non-existence of a firm understanding of Islam that leads to all this. This understanding would have taught the murderers to fear God more than society and it would have allowed the daughters to see their faith as something more than a set of dry rules. Let’s hope that this will be last time we will hear of such a heinous crime being committed by a coreligionist.

The statement reads in part:

“As Muslims, we base our ethics and behaviour on the teachings of the Quran and the authenticated example of the Prophet Muhammad, who never hit a woman and taught the men that “the best amongst you is he who treats women the best”. The Quran unequivocally emphasizes the sanctity of all life, forbids all forms of coercion in matters of religion, and reminds us all that each of us is accountable for our actions directly to God, the only Judge.

“There is no room within these teachings for any person, by virtue of gender or position within the family, to seize control over the life and bodily security of another. Domestic violence and, in the extreme, practices such as killing to “restore family honour” violate clear and non-negotiable Islamic principles, and so we categorically condemn all forms of domestic violence.”

The full statement can be read here.

Ihsaan Gardee, Executive Director of the Canadian Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR-CAN), says he supports the statement and encourages Canadian Muslims leaders and institutions who have not yet done so, to contact CAIR-CAN and add their name to list of organizations and individuals who have already endorsed (details listed below) the Call and echo its message in their Friday sermons on December 9, 2011.

“This is an important statement and its call must and will continue to be heard. Canadian Muslims take seriously their responsibility to confront what is a betrayal of the fundamental values of our faith and the example set by the Prophet Muhammad,” he added.

CAIR-CAN is a national, non-profit, grassroots organization striving to be a leading voice that enriches Canadian society through Muslim civic engagement and the promotion of human rights.

Where would we be without our mothers?

Why is it that they would without a second thought give their lives for ours?

Why is it that they would carry us in their arms or push you in their
pram even if their limbs hurt but they will never think of blaming us
for the pain.

Where does one’s pain start and the concern of their mother end?

Why is it they will go without so that we can have clothes on our back?

Why is it that the bond is so dear that only a mother can understand?

Why is it they would look from the window and not sleep until they
knew we were safe?

Why is it they would never eat until they knew we were done?

Why is it that we take the jewel in our lives for granted?

Why is it they remember so much about us but we remember them so little?

We caused you much pain oh mothers. Many times we hang our heads in
shame as we remember our wrongs.

We remember that when our fathers punished us it was your hands that
stopped him.

It was your hands that brought us food and tended to us when we were
sick or hurt.

Dear sons and daughters remember your mother. She loved you more than
you loved yourself. She taught you when you knew nothing. She carried
you when you could not walk and spoke to you when you could not talk.
Kill us, imprison us do as you wish but these hearts remember seeing
tears fall from the beautiful eyes of our mothers. We will move
mountains if it means they will stop.

You told us oh mother of mine that you have 5 fingers and that no
matter which finger gets cut off it will hurt the same, we say to you
that we only had one heart and we did not know that the moment you
held us that it would belong to you forever. People may come and go
but you were always there. We are the fruits of your duahs and yours
is the dua that Allah (swt) will never refuse.

May Allah( swt) admit our mothers into Jannah for fufilling their
duties upon the sons and daughters of this Ummah. Ameen.

May Allah (swt) show them more mercy then they showed us when we were
small. Ameen

By: Summayah Poonah